


The Return

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: California Dreaming [17]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Drama, F/M, Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-06-07
Packaged: 2018-04-03 06:41:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4090870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If he told himself the truth, which he always tried to, they were still there.  All the memories were there, locked in a vault that sometimes threatened to open like a Pandora’s Box and sometimes rarely made a peep. This was his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Return

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fix-it fic, for the Season 10 episode Nelson’s Sparrow. I don’t even watch Criminal Minds anymore but felt some type of way about them killing off the character of Gideon, as if they’ve run out of things to talk about. I have always been a big fan of the character and he lives on in my heart and in this series.

Derek wasn’t sure how he felt when he pressed the doorbell. It wasn’t anger or even apprehension. He was solemn but couldn’t say he was sad. It had been six years since they last laid eyes on each other. Derek never told a soul just how much Gideon’s leaving affected him. 

He did his best to look after Spencer but it surely wasn’t just the young genius who felt as if he lost his father figure. James Morgan died when his only son was ten years old. It wasn’t until many years later that Derek learned to trust again. That had been with Jason. It was Jason who turned him from a cop into an FBI Agent. 

It was Jason who helped mold his anger into empathy; rage into rationality. It was Jason who finally made Derek feel like more than just a kid who made it out of the hood. He was able to focus his mind on something bigger than himself, and was still focusing to this day. It was Jason that Derek finally opened up to, vaguely, when the nightmares came after a particularly bad case. To call the man his mentor would be a vast understatement. Derek Morgan wouldn’t be the man he was today, the man he fought tooth and nail to become, if the two had never crossed paths.

The second time he rang the bell a dog came running toward the front door barking. He heard a voice inside, perhaps a teenage girl, hollering that she was coming. Then the door opened. The dog stood on his hind legs, pressing his paws against the screen as he panted. The teenage tried to shoo him away but the dog was unmoved.

“Can I help you?” she asked.

The girl was brown skinned with pink cornrows in her hair. Though she looked young, barely a teen, she stood at 5’7”. She studied them with intense scrutiny.

“Is your father home?” Alex asked.

“Who may I say is calling?”

“I'm Supervisory Special Agent Alex Blake.” She held up her badge and ID. “This is Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan. It is a matter of some urgency that we speak with your father.”

“Are you really FBI?” she asked.

“The real deal.” Derek nodded.

“Well my dad didn’t do anything so you guys totally have the wrong house. But there is this dude around the corner who is super sketchy. I mean like white van, blacked out windows kinda sketchy. You can check him out but you didn’t hear it from me.”

“We need to speak with Jason Gideon.” Alex said. “We were informed this was his address.”

“What do you want with my dad?”

“He didn’t do anything wrong, Tameka.” Derek held up his hand. “We all used to work together and we really need his help on a case.”

“Whoa, how does the FBI know my name? I want to see those IDs again please.”

“We know a lot of things.” Derek held up his ID.

“Oh yeah, well who's the better dresser…Beyoncé or Solange?”

“Solange...I’m a fan of blohemian chic.”

“What's blohemian?” Tameka asked.

“Black bohemian.” Derek replied.

“Oh snap,” she laughed. “I like that. I'm gonna take it to school tomorrow and pretend I made it up. Are you cool with that?”

“Tameka, we are going to need to come in.” Alex said, breaking up the moment of levity.

“Oh right, right.” She unlocked the double paned glass screen door. “Dad’s not here, he went to pick up Cam from detention. He should be back in about 20 minutes. Move it Scout, the FBI does not want to interview you.”

Derek smiled, crouching down to pet the dog. Alex looked around the neat foyer. A large, neater living room was to the left. A set of stairs and landing took up the right side of the room.

“Are you home alone, Tameka?” she asked.

“No, Jake is here too. He's my big brother. He won some Beats by Dre in this drawing contest so he puts those on and never hears anything. You can wait for Dad in the den, it’s this way.”

They followed Tameka to another part of the house. While the den surely looked lived in compared to the living room, it was still neat. Bookshelves lined the entire wall and Derek finally felt close to Gideon again. There was a cat sleeping on the couch and another sauntered in from the kitchen. He stopped to lick his paw.

“How many pets do you have here?” Alex asked.

“Um, three dogs and three cats. I bet Dad would have more if we could. Sometimes we foster a pet transitioning from the shelter to home life. Hey, are you guys like true blue, we captured Hannibal Lecter profilers?”

“We’re behavioral analysts.” Alex replied.

“Is that the same thing?” Meka asked.

“Not exactly.”

“Well you could profile me. If you're real profilers you could totally profile me. Tashima says I'm easy so go ahead. I promise not to tell Dad; cross my heart and everything.”

“We can't do that.” Derek shook his head.

“Is it an ethical thing?”

“No, it’s a psychological thing. Most people under the age of 18 profile as sociopaths.”

“Whoa,” Meka’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?”

“I'm serious.” He nodded.

“Why does that happen?”

Alex looked at Derek and he looked back at her. They weren’t exactly sure how much to say to her. Derek knew she was about 13 and that Gideon would not be happy if they talked to his kid about serial killers. At that age it was something that always captured their rapt attention while being something they needed to know nothing about. But Derek had come up with a lot of young black kids in the system…so many knew and had seen too much. He hoped Tameka and her twin, who he now knew to be named Tashima, were innocent.

“Do you know the serial killer triad?” Derek asked.

“Never heard of him.” Meka shook her head. “What did he do?”

“Triad isn't a who,” Derek replied. “It’s a what.”

“The McDonald Triad is also known as the triad of sociopathy.” Alex said. “It’s also been debunked by most of the psychological but not all of the law enforcement community. It states that pyromania, animal abuse, and bedwetting past a certain age, along with some other factors, contribute to later violence. In particular it focuses on serial violence.”

“The problem is that over 65% of kids in their late youth and early teens exhibit at least two of the three on the triad.” Derek went on. “Cognitively they have poor impulse control and limited real-life understanding of long term consequences. It’s irresponsible to analyze their behavior to a point or to assume that we can predict future behavior by what they enjoy in the moment.”

“Is this like teenagers in the 70s liking Peter Frampton?” Meka asked. “Cuz dad played that album for us and I mean, it was OK but not like the be all end all.”

“As you grow up musical tastes do change.” Alex said. “Maybe when you're your dad’s age you'll like Peter Frampton.”

“Let’s hope not. So…how old do I have to be to get a profile?”

“Portions of the brain that control impulses begin to balance out for most people in their mid-20s. But the brain is a tricky thing and almost everyone’s is different. You have some time. I'm sure your dad doesn’t want you thinking about that kind of thing. It’s a dark business.”

“He never talks about FBI stuff.” Meka said. “I guess after Boston it was just too hard.”

Derek was going to ask Tameka how and how much she knew about Boston but they heard the key turn in the lock and people come into the house. He immediately recognized Gideon’s voice. It sounded so relaxed. Morgan regretted that he might have something to do with shattering that. 

The second voice was a young boy. That must be Cam from detention. He wasn’t expecting to hear a woman’s laughter. That jovial sound came closer and closer until it was right in the room with them.

“Oh my goodness,” she stopped laughing and walking at the same time. “I didn’t know we had guests.

Alex and Derek stood and nodded toward her. Derek was taken aback by her beauty. She had brown skin and big brown eyes. The gray yoga pants she wore looked good on her hips and the oversized tee shirt did nothing to hide the womanly shape underneath. 

In a word she was foxy. For some reason that was the first word that came to mind when he saw her…foxy. Was this Gideon’s girlfriend? Was she his wife? A quick scan of her hand showed a modest engagement ring but no wedding band.

“They're profilers.” Meka said. “It’s the real Derek Morgan, Paloma.”

“I'm SSA Derek Morgan and this is SSA Alex Blake.” Both agents flashed their IDs. “We’re here to see…”

“Jason!” Paloma was sure that she hadn’t meant to shout like she had. A sense of dread washed over her like ice water. It made the hair on her arms stand up. Something was about to happen and Paloma didn’t think she could do anything to stop it.

“Cam’s negotiations skills are improving.” Jason’s voice entered the room before he did. “For just a brief moment I considered taking the handheld PlayStation off the table. He almost had me convinced that…” he stopped so quickly upon entering the room that it took much effort not to trip over his own feet. Straightening himself, Jason reached for Paloma’s hand. It was right where it was supposed to be. “Did something happen to Aaron?”

“Hotch is fine.” Derek replied. “It’s not that kind of visit, Gideon.”

“And Spencer is alright?”

“Yeah.” Morgan nodded.

“Are you alright?” Jason asked.

“I've been better and surely worse. The beard,” Derek pointed to his face. “It’s very Educating Rita.”

“That’s what I told him.” Paloma tried to smile. “If you're here then something big is happening. Come into the kitchen; we’ll have coffee.”

“Your daughter could be a great interrogator one day.” Derek followed his mentor into the large open kitchen.

“Tameka will excel at anything she puts her mind to.” Jason turned back to her and winked. “I'm sure you’ve got homework upstairs kiddo.”

“If I sit and be quit can I please stay?”

“Not on your life.” Jason shook his head.

“Should I say pretty please with a cherry on top?” she asked.

“Upstairs.” Jason pointed to the steps.

“Alright. But please let me know before they go. I want Morgan to tell me more cool FBI stuff.”

“Maybe. Hey, where is your sister.”

“She's at Lucy’s house studying for pre-algebra. Lucy’s mom is bringing her home after dinner. You said yes two days ago and it’s on the wall calendar.”

“Thank you.” He gave a little wave. Tameka sighed and walked away.

“Agent Gideon, I promise that we didn’t share anything unsavory with your daughter.” Alex said. “Tameka is full of curiosity so I doubt the questions would’ve stopped even if we wanted them to.”

“Jason is fine; I am no longer Agent Gideon. I'm sorry but I didn’t catch your name.”

“SSA Alex Blake. The summer between my junior and senior year of college, my boyfriend and I followed you across the country like groupies.”

“You did?” Morgan looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

“It was Jason Gideon and the Grateful Dead…best two shows in any given town. You're a legend sir, and rightly so.”

“Thank you, Agent Blake. What brings you all the way to little Windsor, CA from Quantico? I watch the news every night…town’s about as quiet as a church mouse.”

“We’re on a case.”

“Of course you're on a case, Morgan…there's always a case. What can I do for you?”

The three analysts sat at the table. Paloma busied herself trying to make coffee. She wasn’t sure how much she would want to hear or how it would make her stomach turn. Jason dealt with the worst of the worst at that job. Bringing it back to the forefront, even for just a day or so, could ruin five years of hard work. 

Paloma didn’t think anything was worth Jason having another breakdown. Still, she knew him well enough to know that if people were hurting he was going to help. Giving up on the coffee, Paloma sat down at the table too. Jason immediately took her hand in his, holding it in his lap.

“Do you remember the Stone Cold Killer?” Derek asked.

“There were nine victims near San Diego over a ten month period in 1987.” Jason replied. “Dave Rossi and I worked the case together. Analysts didn’t do that much back then but it was a big one. We profiled the Unsub as young, no more than early twenties but likely late teens. He was clean cut, the kind of kid no one would say bad things about, but the rage simmered right below the surface.”

“You profiled that the victims could represent the target of his rage.” Alex said.

“Yeah, but we were sure it wasn’t a mother or maternal figure; the victims were too young. There was also no physical connections between the victims…two were blonde, one redhead, and the other brunette. They ranged in age from 16 to 23; seemed most likely to be victims of opportunity. San Diego was a big party town with a large transient and military presence. There were those who knew about the murders and started locking their doors. Others lived by the ‘it could never happen to me’ code. Then we found 2 bodies in the same day.”

“Tishelle Michaels and Katie Grover.” Derek pulled a folder out of the bag he was carrying. Sitting in on the table, he wasn’t sure what to do next. There was no way he wanted to be a trigger for Jason right now. It would be incredibly difficult to work a case though without seeing crime scene photos.

Jason took his glasses from the pocket of his linen shirt. He put them on and cleared his throat. Pulling the file toward him, he opened it. These were pictures he'd seen before though it had been some time. He would be OK if he never saw them again.

“Oh my god,” Paloma covered her mouth and turned away from the pictures.

Jason’s eyes seemed to glaze over as he looked at them. They were going through his optic nerve but he didn’t want them seared into his memory. If he told himself the truth, which he always tried to, they were still there. All the memories were there, locked in a vault that sometimes threatened to open like a Pandora’s Box and sometimes rarely made a peep. This was his life.

“Tishelle was a plot twist.” Jason said. “She took the case in an entirely different direction. We were actually going to leave it to local law enforcement the next day if we wouldn’t have found her. She was from out of state so the FBI got involved for a moment.”

“What happened to her?” Paloma could hardly push the question from her constricted throat. She felt as if she was going to be sick. “Jason…?”

He closed the folder, handing it back to Derek. It was time to put it away.

“You don’t have to stay for this, honey. The pictures and most of the stories are gruesome. That’s something I don’t want inside you.”

“I'm not leaving you alone with this.” She shook her head. “My stomach will survive.”

“Tishelle Michaels was African-American.” Jason turned back to Morgan and Blake. “She had very light skin but clear African-American physical traits. It’s rare for a killer, particularly a serial, to cross racial lines. 

“The local police would’ve never thought to link the two cases, no matter the similarities, if the bodies hadn’t been found together in a shallow grave near the Mexican border. We were stuck for a while after that…it took weeks to recalibrate the entire case from go. Luckily no one else was murdered while we were doing that. Did Penelope go through VICAP?”

“There's a serial case in Georgia that we’re looking at hard.” Alex said. “There's a possible in North Carolina.”

“Where in Georgia?” Jason asked.

“In and around Augusta.”

“Military bases.” He mumbled. “Why the hell didn’t we put it together before? They're operating from military bases. It’s a serial killer’s favorite playground after a hooker stroll.”

“These girls weren’t anonymous.” Derek shook his head. “Almost all were reported missing.”

“If the Unsub, or Unsubs, stick to the script,” Alex said. “Then there will be two more black victims and one more white victim before moving on.”

“Do you really think it’s the same men?” Jason asked. “Damn near 20 years is a long time for a cooling off period. Not to mention that partners rarely stay together that long without one turning on the other.”

“If they were plowing their trade in other cities, or even split up for a time, this could be a family reunion…so to speak.” Morgan said. “You profiled both guys to be late teens to early 20s.”

“Dave profiled them.”

“Well early 40s is still well within the range to wreak havoc.”

“Nothing has changed in the M.O. or signature?” Jason asked.

“Rocks are still the likely cause of death.” Alex replied. “There is much blunt force trauma to the back of the head. The black victims are being strangled with a ligature now instead of manually.”

“We think the Unsub no longer has that kind of strength.” Morgan said. “The reasons are too numerous to mention.”

“You should have Penelope go through VICAP and try to find similar M.O.s with surviving victims. The victimology, at least in that first case, was too far off to nail down why these girls were chosen. To say it was random didn’t make sense. So either this pair is coming full circle or you have a new maniac on your hands.”

“Will you help us?” Alex asked. “Will you consult?”

“It’s likely not in my best interest to surround myself with crime scene photos and police procedure.” Jason said.

“It’s possible we could set up an at-home consultation. Penelope could come out here and have you wired so we can communicate at all times. No one knows more about this case than you.”

“Absolutely not.” Paloma shook her head. “You can talk about this case or have these pictures anywhere near the kids, Jason. No.”

“I know.” He nodded. “Morgan, Dave worked this case just as hard as I did. He's back with the BAU now…I'm sure you have all the help you need.”

“We need you; Rossi needs you. The victims and their families need you.”

“Don’t you dare try to drag him back into hell with that victims and family speech.” Paloma’s eyes flashed brimstone when she spoke. “Apparently you can knock on his door when the FBI wants something but it’s been five years and you haven’t sent so much as a Christmas card. You have no idea what he's been through. None whatsoever! You selfish sons of bitches!”

“Hey, hey,” Jason stood up and stood Paloma up as well. “Please excuse us.”

“Of course.” Alex nodded.

He and Paloma walked out into the deck. She stepped away from him, crossing her arms. A blind man could see the anger inside of her. It was coming out of her pores like steam.

“Honey…Soph…” he reached for her.

“Don’t you call me Soph right now. Do not, Jason.”

“Why are you so angry?” He could guess but he wanted to hear it from her. Where they were right now, it was better to ask questions than to make any assumptions. Situations like that only ended badly.

“They have balls of steel. I cannot imagine the cajones it takes to come to you after all these years and ask you to willingly go back to something that made you consider taking your life. They brought crime scene photos into our house…what the hell?”

“Women are dying. All they want to do is solve the case.”

“Don’t say that to me.” She walked even further away from him. “They expected you to say that; they profiled you Jason. David Rossi didn’t come here because he probably couldn’t look you in the eye.”

“Paloma…” Jason sighed.

“I know you're going to do this. That’s the kind of man you are. You're loving and compassionate and they know it.”

“And you're angry.”

“Not at you.” Paloma shook her head. “Never at you. This is just…you know what, I think the dogs need a walk. The BAU should be gone when I get back.”

“Do I tell you enough how awesome you are when you clap back?” Jason managed a smile. “Isn't that what the kids call it…clapping back?”

With a very tiny smile, Paloma stepped into Jason’s personal space. She put her hands on the side of his face and kissed him passionately.

“I love you.” He whispered, his lips still close to hers.

“I love you too.”

“I don’t want you to be upset.”

“There's nothing you can do about that, but it’s not your fault Jason.” She kissed him again. “I’ll be back.”

Jason watched her walk off the porch and across the lawn to the dog houses. Goldie and Scout came immediately. She tried to coax Frump but he wasn’t in the mood. Paloma attached their leashes, pulled her hair up with the ponytail holder around her wrist, and left the backyard. There were a million more things to say to each other but he had no idea where to begin. Jason walked back into his kitchen.

“I'm already behind schedule.” He said. “I need to get dinner ready for the kids. I'm a father now, not a profiler.”

“You're not going to help?” Derek asked, standing. Alex did the same.

“The families need closure. I will do what I can to bring that to them.”

“We really appreciate it.” Derek said.

“I can work victimology, even conduct interviews. I cannot travel to crime scenes and would prefer to be away from the photos. I’ll do what needs to be done where the photos are concerned.”

“We’re flying back to San Diego tomorrow morning.” Alex said. “We can pick you up at eight.”

“Nine.” Jason said. “I don’t want the kids to see you. I'm going to have enough questions to answer.”

They left without saying much more. Jason did express some concern to Derek about seeing Spencer again. It had been a long time for them both. He wanted to work the case and get back to his life. It wasn’t that he didn’t love Spencer but did not think the case of multiple murdered girls was the best place for a family reunion. 

Morgan told him that both he and Hotch already had long talks with Spencer. It was going to be awkward, there was no way around it. Some people buried their wounds, others did whatever they could to help them heal, and still others wore them open and gaping for all to see. Jason nodded and showed them out the door. They had profiled him alright. Now he was going to have to profile himself to make sure this didn’t blow the foundation he'd built for himself and his family straight to hell.

***

“Dad?”

“Yes, Tashima?”

Jason looked up from his laptop. It had been a long evening. Jason told the family he was going to San Diego for a few days for a consulting job. They looked at him and then at Paloma, knowing something was wrong. He did his best never to insult their intelligence or to shelter them. 

They had been through so much and sometimes Jason wanted to protect them from the world’s harms. Then he remembered that his most important job was just to love them. So he told them the truth. Cam and Tameka were stoked, Jake a bit concerned, while Tashima and Paloma remained quiet. Dylan, who was still with the family as the heated custody battle between his parents continued, looked as if he wanted to ask a million questions. He chose not to. 

Dinner was tense. Everyone went their separate ways afterwards. Paloma thought about leaving. She wasn’t living with Jason and the kids yet. She would be there for a few days to care for them while he was out of town. 

If it wasn’t for this being their last night together before multiple days apart, she would’ve run for the hills. Jason could see it in her eyes and body language. Instead she said she had a raging headache and retired to the master bedroom for the evening. It was better to give her some space.

“I brought you something. I thought it might make you smile.”

“I'm fine.” Jason lied.

“Nah, you're not fine. Here.”

She walked over to the couch where he was sitting on his laptop. After handing him the picture, Tashima sat down there as well. Jason looked at the photo, all five of the kids hamming it up for the camera. It had been taken on his iPhone and then he made a copy at work for Tashima. She and Tameka loves taping personal pictures to their mirrors, like the cool girls in the movies.

“You can take it with you to San Diego so if you have to look at bad stuff, you can have something good to look at after.”

“I appreciate it.” Jason put it beside him on the couch cushion. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah.” She nodded.

“That was almost as convincing as me saying I was fine.”

“I don’t want you to go back to the FBI.”

“I'm not.” Jason shook his head. “This is a consulting job and I'm doing it because it was my case from a long time ago. As long as it remains unsolved, there are people out there in danger. There are families out there who need to know what happened to the people they love. After this I'm going back to being a boring old professor and a dad.”

“Do you promise?” Tashima asked.

“I solemnly swear.” He replied and meant it.

“We’re gonna be OK.”

“I know.”

“Are you gonna be OK, Dad?”

“Yes.” Jason wasn’t sure but he hoped so. 

It was a difficult case to look at. He would have to revisit old haunts and would have new ones when he returned. But Jason would do his best to compartmentalize and move on when it was time to move on. He'd have his family by his side when he did.

“While you're gone I’ll finish learning _Fire and Rain_ so I can play it for you when you get back. I’ll keep Cam out of trouble too, and make sure Jake does all his homework.”

“Paloma will be here to look after you guys.” He put his hand on her shoulder. “You don’t have to carry the mother lode, Shima…it’s OK to be a kid right now.”

“Is she really, really mad at you? I mean like ‘I don’t want to marry you anymore’ mad?”

“Paloma and I are fine. It’s a stressful situation for everyone involved but she believes in what I'm doing. I've been on a journey and I'm not going to let anything come in and take all that I've fought for. That includes you guys and that includes Paloma.”

“OK.” Tashima nodded.

“This is a great picture.” He smiled as he looked at it again. 

Jason was the father of four. Everything wasn’t legal yet but it was very close. He was hopeful someday Dylan would return to one of his parents or a loving family member. For now he was a misfit, as the kids had decided to call themselves. They were looking for a cooler name, something associated with their father, but hadn’t settled on anything just yet.

“I'm gonna get ready for bed now.” Tashima said. “Can I have a hug?”

“You never have to ask.” Jason moved his laptop to the side and opened his arms. 

He would never pick favorites amongst his kids, they were all amazing, but he saw his own quiet intensity in Tashima. She could be clever and witty and a joy to be around but there was also something deep in her dark brown eyes. She’d always cared for her twin when life dealt them blow after blow. They were in a secure place now and had been for a few years. Jason wasn’t going to do anything to mess that up. When he got back from San Diego he would make sure the door was closed on the BAU once and for all. 

“Don’t forget to…”

“I know, I know,” she smiled as she got up from the couch. “Brush my teeth. I got it covered. Goodnight, dad.”

“Goodnight.” Jason blew her a kiss.

Once he was alone again, Jason turned off his laptop. The birds weren't helping and usually the birds always helped. If Jason was feeling stressed or out of sorts, he studied birds. Ornithology had been a hobby since he was just a little boy. 

His grandfather introduced it to him, as well as his love for trains. Learning the Latin names and major characteristics of modern birds as well as their extinct brethren was calming. Learning in and of itself was calming. Jason wasn’t sure if anything would calm him tonight. 

He went to the kitchen and filled the teakettle with water. After putting it on the stove, he turned on the radio. Jason only ever listened to one station, the local oldies station out of Santa Rosa. He didn’t think _Don’t Dream It’s Over_ qualified as an oldie but Crowded House’s debut album was released nearly 30 years ago. Damn, he was getting old.

He smiled when he saw Paloma come through the kitchen door. She looked amazing when she wore his “comfy” clothes. Tonight it was an oversized tee advertising the Augusta Public Library in Augusta, Maine. She paired it with white boxer briefs and rainbow colored fuzzy socks. Her hair was piled on top of her hair in a messy bun. Even makeup free, which she was at this hour, she was one of the most beautiful women he'd ever seen. What did she see in someone like him? 

“I really needed a clove and some Lady Grey tea.” She said.

“I was thinking the same. How is the headache?”

“All but gone. A bit of it is still creeping around the base of my skull. You were right about the whiskey, though I shouldn’t make a habit out of it.”

Jason nodded, going over to the cabinet for two mugs. When he got the bad migraines he always took Excedrin and a quarter tumbler of warm whiskey. It could cut hours off the pain. If Jason was game for anything, it was getting rid of pain as soon as possible. He saw Paloma moving out the corner of his eye. 

Soon she was right behind him, arms wrapped around his midsection, cheek against his back. Jason inhaled the scent of Beautiful Sheer. She wore a couple of different scents but this one was his favorite. Powdery, light, and full of charm, it fit Paloma perfectly. He took a deep breath in and let the scent and feeling engulf him.

“Are you hungry?” he asked.

“I could eat a bit but I don’t think I want to.”

“I think you should…just a little.”

“What do you have around here that’s just a little, Jason?”

“There's a box of mini pizza bagels in the freezer. Cam swears that they're brain food. I've eaten a few in a pinch and they're not horrid. If you have a few it’ll probably prevent you from getting up in the middle of the night with your stomach growling.”

She nodded behind him, getting up on her tip toes to kiss the nape of his neck. Jason shivered when she breathed down his shirt. Paloma was surprised when he quickly turned to face her, wrapping her in his embrace.

“Have you ever had sex in a kitchen before?” Jason asked, holding her close. 

He wanted to inhale the scent of her skin. There were few things that turned Gideon on more than the smell of perfume and sweat on Paloma’s skin. She was a sweater, and at first that embarrassed her. Then she discovered her lover was also a sweater. Now sweating all over each other between the sheets made them laugh. It also gave them more of an excuse to shower together.

“Do you want to talk about the logistics of Odie staying here for the next couple of days or are we not?”

Paloma kissed his neck once more and then went to the freezer for the bagel bites. She really didn’t want anything. It wasn’t just about not being hungry; Paloma was actually a bit nauseous. Surely this processed junk wouldn’t help so she just took out three. Looking at Gideon as he poured water in their mugs she changed the number to five. He would eat her leftovers. While they cooked in the microwave, Paloma held up her cigarette case.

“Do you want me to go outside?” she asked.

“If you don’t mind.” Jason replied.

“It’s fine.”

“I’ll bring out the tea and bagel bites.” 

“That’s a pretty fancy meal, Jason,” she managed a smile. “I should’ve dressed appropriately.”

“You look fantastic.”

Paloma turned and went out of the sliding glass door. Jason could see her lighting a couple of Tiki torches, for light and hopefully to keep away the bugs. The torches had citronella in them but it didn’t always matter. If the bugs wanted you than they would eat you. She was hoping that they'd all gone to bed for the night. The fireflies would be OK, Paloma loved fireflies.

Sitting down at the table, she lit her clove and took a deep inhale. There was still a lot on her mind but Paloma wasn’t sure she wanted to talk about it. She wasn’t sure how to bring half of it up. There wasn’t much time, in less than 12 hours Jason would be on a plane to San Diego and a life he left behind years ago. It wasn’t as if Paloma was afraid that he wouldn’t come back. She just had no idea what condition Jason would be in when he did.

“I thought I smelled rain earlier.” Jason said as he joined her out on the deck. “It didn’t come.”

“I thought so too. That would’ve been wonderful sleeping weather.”

“I can always put on Rainy Mood.”

“It’s not quite the same.” Paloma shook her head. She looked down at the bagel bites, he actually put them on a nice plate. They didn’t look so appetizing but her stomach was suddenly rumbling.

“Are you going to be alright here with the kids for a few days?”

“I'm going to have to get used to more than a few days, aren’t I?” she countered.

“But we’ll usually be working together. They can be a handful.”

“Wait till they get a load of me in full mom mode. You can still be awesome while commanding respect.”

“Agreed.” Jason sipped his tea. “I never saw this coming. On the daily basis I can prepare for things in my head that may never come to pass…I've been doing it for a long time. This I didn’t see.”

“Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?” Paloma asked.

“I'm not often sure what I believe.”

That wasn’t true. It was also what Paloma was afraid of. The BAU had only been back in Jason’s life for a few hours and he was doubting himself again. He'd worked incredibly hard to rebuild from the ashes after all that happened to him. That didn’t mean the old Jason was no longer there, but he put him away for a reason.

“Can I ask you to make me a promise?”

“You can ask me anything.”

“I want this to be it, Jason. I feel horrible saying it but something in me just feels like I have to. I know you never got the proper goodbye with your team and there were a million reasons for that. This will be the proper goodbye. They have no real place in our lives. I'm sorry, I…you're not the same man you used to be. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want the kids to lose you. I don’t want you to lose you.”

“You're not going to lose me.” Jason shook his head as he reached for her hand. “Aaron will always remain in my life in some way; we mean a lot to each other. He fought quite hard for me to be godfather to his son. Penelope is always going to check on me…I couldn’t stop her if I tried. 

“Derek and Spencer, though I know I didn’t do right by either of them, still find someplace in their hearts to care about me. Yes, they all work for the BAU but we were family. Was it because of the job, yes, but that doesn’t make it less of the truth. I turned my back once when they needed me; I can't to do it again.”

“That’s what I'm afraid of.” She said.

“I'm never returning to the Bureau and I'm no longer an active field agent. I'm closing a case, Paloma. I'm closing _my_ case. That chapter of my life is over. This is just an epilogue.”

“Promise me.”

“I promise. My heart and soul is here with you and the kids. I never thought I would have the opportunity to say something like that.” He held her hand to his lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Let’s get married when you come back.”

That made Jason smile. Paloma told him that she wanted to plan a wedding. She didn’t want anything too extravagant but definitely memorable. He'd caught her looking at wedding magazines a few times but Jason didn’t mind. If she wanted it, then he wanted her to have it. Deciding to spend the rest of your life with someone was a big step. Paloma’s dream wedding was the least he could do.

“Are you sure you're ready?” he asked.

“I'm just going to buy a nice dress while you're gone.” Paloma said. “The kids will get something totally adorable and we’ll go to the Justice of the Peace. I think afterward we’ll do a family dinner. I'm not sure if I’ll be able to get Morton’s on such short notice, but there are other places.”

“Should I leave my Amex?” Jason grinned.

“It’s all taken care of. My father, in a weird traditional way, insists that the father of the bride pays for the wedding. I don’t think my mom was pleased with him but right after we got engaged he gave me a cashier’s check and told me to do what made my heart happy. I think with all of our outfits, your tux, and dinner at a fancy restaurant, we’ll still have enough for a garden celebration a little later. That’s what I would want to spend some time planning.”

“What about a honeymoon?” he asked, taking one of the bagel bites from the plate. It was as gross as expected but Jason ate it anyway.

“I don’t know…I hadn’t thought about it.”

“At the risk of being slapped across the face that is patently untrue.”

“Shut up!” Paloma laughed and slapped his hand. “I think a family cruise would be a blast. You and I can have our adult alone time and then the kids can go off and have all kinds of adventures. Wait until Jake finds out there are skate parks on cruise ships. Do you think we can afford it?”

“I've got a little something put away. I have to sit down and talk with Danielle, Dylan’s social worker. In order for us to take him on our trip we have to have permission from CPS. I think one or both of the parents have to say yes too. His parents can't agree on anything right now, not even under judge’s threat.”

“There are ways around that.”

“Uh oh, I'm about to get some juicy secrets from the Queen of CPS.” He grinned.

“That is the worst title ever.” Paloma laughed. “But I will call Danielle in the morning and see what we can do. What's happening with their custody case?”

“Despite both parents surrendering their passports, the judge doesn’t feel comfortable leaving Dylan in their care. The father claimed Dylan had no passport, the mother is insistent that he did. The supervised visits are becoming more upsetting but he feels comfortable enough now to talk about it. It’s usually with Tashima or Cam. Cam’s had his fair share over the years. But if the shenanigans continue I think it will put a major strain on his relationship with both parents that they may not recover from.”

“Poor sweet kiddo. Dylan is awesome…he'd be a good son for anyone.”

“I agree, but the goal is always to get the child back with their family, as long as it’s a safe environment.”

“This has been going on for months.” Paloma said. “The judge said ninety days.”

“We’ll ride it out.” Jason squeezed Paloma’s hand. “Dylan still has some issues to work through but I think he's finally started to feel secure here with us. Last time I spoke with the judge that’s what I told him. I also told him that I was getting married so there would be a maternal as well as a paternal presence in the house. Wow honey, we’re doing a lot aren’t we?”

“This is the song that never ends…”

“I think it’s time for bed.” Jason stifled a yawn.

“I wanna make love tonight, Jason.”

“Do you need me to sign a waiver for such rigorous activity?” he smiled.

“I'm just…I didn’t know how you were feeling tonight.” She said.

Jason was planning to have his tea, calm down with some music, and then go check on the kids. Once he got to the master bedroom, he would undress, slip into bed, and pray that his fiancée didn’t kick him right back out. It looked as if they were on just about the same page.

“I'm feeling just fine.”

“And I'm here to see that it stays that way.”

***


End file.
